IN MEMORY…

Good grief! It’s been too long since I posted ANYTHING on this blog. Heaven knows who might actually see this, but if you do, please know I look forward to your comments.

As many of you know, my dear and amazing husband Bob Vander Meer, passed away on May 30, 2024. What follows are reflective poems honoring his memory. I confess to not paying attention to ‘poetic form’ and wrapped my heart instead around what I was and am feeling. We all grieve in different ways. I am so grateful to my family and friends for their love and support and presence, and for continuing to be there for me every day.

TIME
This is the moment.
Seize it. Do not
look to later
for by then,
it may be too late.

CHANGE
Life changed for me today,
not at all in a good way,
but possibly for the best
my husband is at rest.

He Is standing at Heaven’s door
painless and upright now and ever more.

MISSING YOU
Today is the next day
without you,
missing your voice
and seeing your
quirky, lovely smile.
I miss you.
Be at peace, my love,
and filled with joy
as you dance
with the angels
to the music of
Lawrence Welk,
and tell Jesus
your dear wife
says, ‘hi’.

STARTING NOW
We are now a me
and right now,
I don’t like it.
I never will.

You are an essential part
of who I am.
Will I go on
without you?
Of course I will,
but I’ll miss you
being beside me
every step of the way
all through the day.

HORIZONS
Clouds bunch and thin,
regroup into whimsical shapes,
like my mind and heart
creating life in new ways
as I move forward
without you by my side.
You remain in the essence
of who I am…
…that will never change.

STOP
You would think the world would STOP!
so I could breathe
and process
and grieve.
But it does not.
I rely on the healing nurture
of nature and the presence
of God in every leaf and cloud
as I find my way,
toward peace and joy each new day.

LAUGHTER
Life goes on
Altered by a new reality.
Used up and sad for now.
Good news!
He is here!
The God of all
Eases light into each day,
Rays of peace and hope.

THE BEACH
Landlocked and far from lapping waves
that wash upon the shore,
memory takes me there
where blue-grey waters
stretch to the horizon
and I am at peace.

TREE WHISPER
The shush, shush, shush
sighing through the trees
sing songs heard
deep in my soul,
quieting my spirit.

UNTOLD
How much do we not remember
of days gone by? Or do we recall
with little veracity at all,
only what puts us in a good light
doing only those things that are oh so right.
On this my 80th year around the sun,
I vow to be joyful and share the fun
of living in thankful anticipation
of every moment of grand elation.

PISMO
Sandy shores and waves
washing upon the beach,
water stealing away our footsteps
as we walk hand-in-hand.
These memories etched
indelibly on my heart.


First photo we were both MUCH younger 😊. The bottom photo was taken several years ago on our last visit to Pismo Beach, CA, a place we loved to go.


Sculpture inspires song

Memorial - American Gold Star Mothers

I wrote an article in the Las Vegas Optic entitled Local artist creates AGSM tribute sculpture, which ran in the Aug. 30 edition. With permission, I am posting here the poster created to commemorate the dedication of Duke Sundt’s sculpture along with a link to a video about the song written by singer/songwriter Randy Huston. The You Tube video has commentary from the artists and Randy singing the song. Enjoy.


 

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A musing on aging gratefully

Yesterday I turned 75. Turned 75. That’s like referring to oneself as if you’re a tuna casserole that’s gone off.

I don’t feel a day over 75 – oh, right, I am a day over 75. I don’t think of myself as being old-ish. Okay, okay! Old! Even in middle age – 45 or so – I thought anything over 50 was ancient. The older I get, of course, the older young becomes.

Once, when told she didn’t look 40, Gloria Steinem reportedly said, “This is what 40 looks like.” This is what 75 looks like, wrinkled, a touch pudgy, and grey-haired.

I prefer to think of my hair as snowy, shot through with silver, but what do I know? I’ve never been one to gloss over reality, but I did go through the coloring my hair phase to take a few years off my appearance. Why? God knows. It was a pain in the butt and dried out my already-thin hair unmercifully. Plus – get real – my skin still looked papery and wrinkled.

I like being a grey goddess, a woman of a certain age who isn’t taken with the idea of forever young. I know, I can hear you laughing. A goddess I have never been. Wrinkles and grey hair don’t bother me. Not having something worthwhile to do bothers me. I want to be productive. I want to interact with others, not just my generation, but every generation. I still have lots to learn, and I even have a few things to teach.

Life is about the things you can do; it is not about the things you can’t. I will never be the great American novelist. I have neither the discipline for the talent. That doesn’t keep me from writing. It doesn’t keep me from sending in freelance articles for publication in hopes of being paid. It doesn’t stop the flow of words that demand to be put into a story.

Age does not stop us from wanting approval and feeling sad and rejected when we don’t get it. It must never stop us from loving what we do enough to get it out there and do it. Einstein didn’t stop because he got old; he stopped because he died.

Studies show that people who stay active doing the things they enjoy, live longer and are healthier than those who sit on the sidelines waiting for the next thing to happen, and expecting whatever it is, to be bad.

Life does get harder for many of us as we age, no doubt. Overcoming that isn’t easy, but making the effort is the difference between a life well-lived and one of despondency and loneliness. You don’t have to be the life of the party, just show up and participate. You have something to contribute. We all do. Getting old is not a card any of us should play to get out of living our best life now. Stephen Hawking didn’t and neither should we.

I am grateful for every day I’ve lived, even the ones that brought me to my knees, where I learned to lean on the Great Comforter and on my friends. I count every day a blessing, a gift, something to be opened with joy and anticipation. Seventy-five and counting! Thank you, Lord.


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