FUTURE IMPERFECT: A DYSTOPIAN THRILLER

Posted in Books2 Comments

Writing a book is a significant accomplishment. Getting it into the hands of readers is a whole other ballgame, especially as an indie publisher. Traditionally published writers don’t have it easy, but they do have the advantage when it comes to marketing and shelf placement in brick-and-mortar bookstores. There are many successful indie authors with best sellers to their credit, but they didn’t get there by chance; they got there by believing in their work, believing in themselves and not giving up. Persistence, persistence, persistence!

I’ve done the work on five novels, FUTURE IMPERFECT, second edition with corrections, my latest accomplishment. My copies arrived today and I couldn’t be more proud. I sold my first hard copy this morning to my friend, Karen, and expect it will be the first of many. The book is available online from Barnes and Noble and Amazon, or locally (Las Vegas, N.M.) from me.

FUTURE IMPERFECT answers the what if question with sci-fi suspense, a villain with something to hide and something to prove, a woman determined to regain her identity, and a man seeking justice. Set in a dystopian future this fiction thriller examines the manipulation of political power and the corrosive nature of greed.

Email fsvandermeer@gmail.com if you would like to be notified when a Meet the Author date and reading from FUTURE IMPERFECT will be held, or subscribe to this blog.

ODE TO THE HERMIT’S PEAK GAZETTE

Posted in Las Vegas, New Mexico, Poetry, writing9 Comments

We limped along, you and I,
I so wanted you to succeed,
to be entertaining
and fun,
not stodgy
the written word
making smiles,
informing,
telling the tale
of a matchless place,
singular in its identity,
more than the sum of its parts.
It’s that kind of place,
full of people with quirky ideas,
ingenuity,
an earthy connection
to time and place.
You must be here
a long time
to be one of us,
unless,
of course,
you get it right away.
We’re common folk,
whether we have money in the bank,
or an empty tank,
we are who we are,
no frills,
no pompous asses,
well, maybe a few,
but we know who they are,
and we accept them –
just that way.
That’s the story
I wanted you to tell,
and we did, you and I
but –
the very big but –
you never made a dime,
and to continue,
you had to,
so, I gave you up
and regret it still.
You are part of my history
and the history of this town,
though lost to the public,
you linger in my garage,
a picture of our town
as I saw it;
as the people who wrote
articles for you saw it.
As you really are,
plain spoken
with a heart,
beautiful,
hospitable,
welcoming.
That’s the story
you told,
the story we told together.

I wrote this poem September 16, 2020. I post it here in recognition of (and in some cases in memory of), the writers and contributors who made the Hermit’s Peak Gazette a wonderful hometown paper with heart. It only lasted about three years, from 1997 to 2000.

I’m still writing but my focus is on fiction and poetry and short stories. To read more, check out this link to my book FUTURE IMPERFECT.

REBOOTING…

Posted in essay, Inspiration, Lifestyle, writing2 Comments
Fresh Start

It’s Saturday, usually a ‘day off’ for me. Set aside writing. Set aside thinking. Set aside any type of work at all. Truth be told, in the past year or so, I’ve taken more ‘days off’ than I care to admit. That’s just not me. I miss writing. I miss thinking. Yes, that’s what I said and that’s what I mean. For me, writing is thinking and thinking for me is writing. Sometimes what I pen is good and sometimes it’s not so good, but it gives me purpose, and we all benefit from having purpose in our lives, a reason to get up in the morning and engage with life.

If you Google the five top healthy habits as you age, it will look something like this:

• Stay Active

• Eat Well

• Engage with life (read, learn, connect socially)

• Get adequate sleep

• See your doctor regularly

I would add, get the heck out of your PJs before noon!

Staying active will look different for each of us. The activities I engaged in at sixty I’m unlikely to do as the numbers train speeds toward eighty-two, but – as docs and physical therapists chant regularly – motion is lotion. You don’t need to buy an app or set an impossible training schedule for yourself to be active. Stretch. Dance. Walk. Do it alone or with a partner. This is dependent, of course, on your physical condition. I have early on-set Parkinson’s, which slows me down. Me. Slowed down! I don’t allow that to isolate me. Isolation is the invisible insidious virus that takes joy out of life.

Eating well requires a bit of planning and less spicey foods. I know, the last thing anyone wants to deal with. I have found that a largely vegetarian diet is best for me. As with many older folks, my appetite has decreased. Partly because the Parkinson’s has affected my smell and taste buds, and let’s face it, the best part about eating is the aroma and taste.

Engaging with life keeps you going. Laughing with friends. Crying with friends. Reading. Learning something new. Continuing to be part of a community: church, organizations, book clubs, crafting or arts groups, anything that will expand your mind and bring you satisfaction.

Adequate sleep is a tough nut to crack. I have always had restless nights. I imagine you have as well. Mine happen about once every five or six days. For many of us, “Just get some sleep,” is easier said than done. I wish I had the magic formula, but I don’t. I usually get up and do something, anything, to take my mind off the aggravation of not being able to sleep. Sometimes I can go back to bed and fall asleep; sometimes I get no sleep at all. And then, I find myself nodding off in my chair off and on throughout the following day. Some of the things I’ve tried –

• Put your body to sleep one section at a time (I’m not saying it works; I’m saying I’ve tried it!) Maybe it will work for you. 

  • Close your eyes, relax, then – starting with your feet – chant (silently, if you have a partner otherwise neither one of you will get to sleep!), for five to ten seconds, feet sleep, feet sleep, feet sleep… and continue right on up your body until you reach your head. Hopefully, before you get to your head you are already asleep.
  • The 7-4-8 technique. Breathe in for seven seconds, hold for four seconds, breath out for eight seconds. Continue until your body relaxes… and hopefully you fall asleep.
  • Drink a warm liquid that has no caffeine before you go to bed.

See your doctor regularly. This is something to remember no matter your age. I’ve had cancer four times in different parts of my body. I’ve been diagnosed in the early stages every time and had the benefit of excellent treatment and am cancer free. Early detection of Parkinson’s enabled me to start on symptom management medication. Parkinson’s doesn’t go away; it takes its toll over time.

What has kept me busy and out of trouble lately is republishing Future Imperfect, a dystopian futuristic novel ripe with intrigue, political upheaval, and environmental chaos. Yes, I am a self-published author and yes this is the second edition of this book. And yes, please order it at Barnes and Noble or Amazon.

This is how I engage with life. 

Future Imperfect is one of five books I’ve written and published. Learn more here.

FUTURE IMPERFECT

Posted in fiction2 Comments

FUTURE IMPERFECT is a book I wrote several years ago. It’s a dystopian novel about a near future in which the world is on the brink of collapse environmentally, politically, and in the heart of humanity. I recently republished the book, with corrections and updates. Please check out and follow the Instagram posts and Facebook posts for the book. FUTURE IMPERFECT may be purchased from Barnes and Nobel and Amazon. It is available as a digital download ($3.99), in hardcopy ($20.99) and paperback ($14.99).

Reviews are greatly appreciated.

About FUTURE IMPERFECT

Future Imperfect, a fast-paced, dystopian novel, is thought-provoking and hauntingly vivid, depicting a near-future transformed by disaster, self-interest and suspicion. More than an environmental disaster, Future Imperfect delves into the conflict between good and evil after a scientific breakthrough produces catastrophic consequences.

Hana Evans, wary and distrustful, navigates a world she doesn’t understand while grappling with a painful void where her memories should be.

Commander Stone Walker battles a crumbling system that hinders his every move. Escalating political and environmental chaos conspire to drive a wedge of mistrust between Hana and Stone as the world spirals toward the edge of oblivion.

I love you…

Posted in Enrichment, essay, Life, writing8 Comments
Bob and me

I am a writer. For years I have embraced the discipline and joy of putting pen to page – or fingers to computer – and creating simply because it makes me feel good. On May 30, 2024 – the day my husband passed away – the wind in my sails stopped blowing and the swirling laughing waters of inspiration went still. Oh, I didn’t stop writing immediately, but it tapered off until the only writing I did was in my daily devotional and prayer journals. Everything else – poetry, short stories, blogs, novels, it all dried up. Writing group – five or six friends who meet monthly to read each other’s work and write spontaneously from prompts – has kept me going, helping me across that great divide when grief numbs spontaneity and vision.

I wish I could say I’ve come to a turning point and will get back to a regular schedule of storytelling, but if I’ve learned one thing about myself it is that as I get older, I have crap follow through.

Writing advice, no matter its source, urges the writer to know her/his audience. Who are you trying to reach?Yes, that is the question. Not ‘to be or not to be’, but who the hell is your audience? Shakespear knew and it turns out, all these years later, it’s us, or at least the us who love literature. 

So, not having a clue who may read this, I send it to the Heavens with good intentions and say with heartfelt enthusiasm, whatever it is you feel passionate about, do it now and do it with delight. Wrap your arms around the people you love and say the magic words – yes, you know them – I love you! Say them through your actions and with your voice and with your touch.

Blessings in the year ahead.

Il dolce far niente

Posted in essay, Las Vegas, New Mexico, Life9 Comments

I just finished reading an article in AARP Magazine written by Bob Brody, an essayist and author. The article, entitled Relearning the Fine Art of Doing Nothing, reminded me that a walk around the park isn’t a race, nor should it be. Since my Bob (Robert Vander Meer) passed away May 30, 2024, I seem to be trying to outdistance my grief. Busy, busy, busy!

Brody’s article has me rethinking that approach. Maybe it’s okay to enjoy the good times as they come and not worry about whether I’m doing enough to stay engaged with life. I’m 80. Just how much engagement do I need? Well, enough to avoid isolation, but not so much I feel unduly pressured.

A good friend (also a widow), and I have agreed to start walking around a local park now that the days are getting longer, and the weather is improving. We’re building stamina for a trip we plan to take this summer that will require some degree of strenuous walking. I’m using the aid of a rollator (four-wheeled rolling walker for those of you who aren’t there yet), my friend under her own steam. After reading Brody’s article it occurred to me that with the help of the rollator, I can step right out, sometimes leaving my friend a few steps behind. Why? Because I’ve always believed that when you were headed out the door, there must be some place you had to be. For me, getting there (wherever there was) on or ahead of schedule has always been paramount.

After reading Brody’s article, I thought back to a time when just being a kid was the only thing I had to do, running wild through trees and brush, finding a hidden waterfall and underground tunnels, going places that would have given my mother a heart attack, had she known. Oh, my! Did we have fun and not a care in the world.

So, maybe, instead of racing around the park, I’ll slow down so my friend and I may talk to the dog walkers and tourists along the way, or maybe just admire the beauty all around, and the gorgeous buildings that make our town unique. And simply be.

And maybe, just maybe, I’ll feel lighter in my heart because in this town where we lived many happy years together, I’ll feel the joy once more of being alive – as my Bob would say – in this great big, beautiful world. *Il dolce far niente, my friends.

*The sweetness of doing nothing.

ODE TO A BOY

Posted in essay, Inspiration, Poetry, Poetry & Prose2 Comments

Bob collected all things John Deere. He grew up on a farm, but farming was not his profession of choice. Anything would have been preferable to farming. Nevertheless, he respected those who chose to live that life and was proud of his heritage. That may be why he had such a fondness for John Deere memorabilia. For him it represented the stalwart nature of people like his dad and mom, salt of the earth people with integrity, grit, and tenacity. His happiest day on the farm came when his dad bought a tractor (not a John Deere) and retired the horses.

ODE TO A BOY
Oh, you powerful beasts,
muscled and strong, built for labor
hitched to heavy wagons
or tillers or plows as need may be.
You were all so much bigger than he,
a wee lad who wanted to please his dad
by driving those horses to each chore
fearless he, this boy, in days of yore.

That determination stayed with Bob his entire life. He loved his work. He loved his family. He did his best. It warms my heart when people speak of him with respect and affection. His happy place was his office, and his most satisfying activity was taking care of patients. It has been more than four months since he passed from this life into the next. I miss him but am grateful for the nearly 44 years we had together. And, yes, I expect to see him again, someday.

Feeling Fanciful

Posted in Inspiration, Photography, Poetry5 Comments

Happy Fall! It’s that time of year when it’s not quite autumn but it sure feels like it. This is my favorite time of year. There is no aroma like that of chile roasting and the vibrancy of color as vegetation sheds its green and prepares for winter, at least in parts of the country and the world. I can’t imagine waking up every day to blooming flowers and greenery in abundance. I like the seasons, all four of them, even that one called spring that blows through like a whirlwind.

AUTUMN MEDITATION
A perfect photo op,
the single sunflower sits atop
a sturdy stem swaying in the wind,
it does not break, nor does it bend.
Sitting there against a sky of blue
its pristine beauty hardy and true.
I want to paint it in words sublime
as I watch its silent swaying mime.

TREE TROLL
There is a troll in my tree,
only I can see,
that’s okay he will be
what he will be
and entertain the child in me.

Brain Storming

Posted in Photography, Poetry9 Comments

I try to write a poem a day, sometimes more than one, but mostly just one. Sometimes they follow a theme and at others the brainstorm is all over the place, kind of a reflection of what’s going on in my head or in my life. So, here’s a selection from the past week that I hope you will find interesting or entertaining or provocative, or all three.

The photo, by the way, is of a recent Las Vegas, NM rainstorm.

THE QUALITY OF LIGHT
How can we not be in awe
of God’s creation?
Grass shot through with sunlight
paints a variety of green
in each blade.

Listen to the trill of a hummingbird
in search of sweet nectar.

Our world is alive with beauty.
May we look at those we encounter
with the same wide-eyed wonder,
seeing in them God’s hand at work
in the beauty displayed by each soul.

LEAVES ALIGHT
Have you seen
how light streams
through leaves
making them nearly
translucent,
as if each leaf
is lit from within?

 NATURE
Trees weep with wonder,
raindrops bead like crystal gems
the shimmer of life.

LIVING THE DREAM
When you’re 17
you think living the dream
is to be popular and pretty,
your size itty bitty.

By 27 you come to realize
happiness isn’t determined by your size,
or looks or being loved by all,
such thinking leads to a fall.

37 arrives and the stunned face
that is your reflection shows no trace
of the hopes you had when you were young
your songs of happy ever after left unsung.

Time marches us toward tomorrow
never knowing if we will face joy or sorrow.
Wins and losses clutter the road in our wake,
and we hope we give back more than we take.

Where did time go?
This is the truth I now know
to live each day with kindness and laughter,
is to be remembered fondly hereafter.

FRAIL
The thing about age
is that it carves
into my body and brain
the impression I am frail,
which to a degree I am,
and feeble-minded,
which I may be,
things don’t stick like they use to.

But… that isn’t who I am.
I have earned the right
to be skeptical about politics
–– not leadership, politics ––
of every stripe and brand.

I have gained wisdom
at the hard school of life.

Silence doesn’t mean
I am addled or not with it,
but that I’ve learned
the sure way to show
how much I don’t know
is to open my mouth
and start talking.

PHOTO: SHARON VANDER MEER

IN MEMORY…

Posted in essay, poetry, Renewal20 Comments

Good grief! It’s been too long since I posted ANYTHING on this blog. Heaven knows who might actually see this, but if you do, please know I look forward to your comments.

As many of you know, my dear and amazing husband Bob Vander Meer, passed away on May 30, 2024. What follows are reflective poems honoring his memory. I confess to not paying attention to ‘poetic form’ and wrapped my heart instead around what I was and am feeling. We all grieve in different ways. I am so grateful to my family and friends for their love and support and presence, and for continuing to be there for me every day.

TIME
This is the moment.
Seize it. Do not
look to later
for by then,
it may be too late.

CHANGE
Life changed for me today,
not at all in a good way,
but possibly for the best
my husband is at rest.

He Is standing at Heaven’s door
painless and upright now and ever more.

MISSING YOU
Today is the next day
without you,
missing your voice
and seeing your
quirky, lovely smile.
I miss you.
Be at peace, my love,
and filled with joy
as you dance
with the angels
to the music of
Lawrence Welk,
and tell Jesus
your dear wife
says, ‘hi’.

STARTING NOW
We are now a me
and right now,
I don’t like it.
I never will.

You are an essential part
of who I am.
Will I go on
without you?
Of course I will,
but I’ll miss you
being beside me
every step of the way
all through the day.

HORIZONS
Clouds bunch and thin,
regroup into whimsical shapes,
like my mind and heart
creating life in new ways
as I move forward
without you by my side.
You remain in the essence
of who I am…
…that will never change.

STOP
You would think the world would STOP!
so I could breathe
and process
and grieve.
But it does not.
I rely on the healing nurture
of nature and the presence
of God in every leaf and cloud
as I find my way,
toward peace and joy each new day.

LAUGHTER
Life goes on
Altered by a new reality.
Used up and sad for now.
Good news!
He is here!
The God of all
Eases light into each day,
Rays of peace and hope.

THE BEACH
Landlocked and far from lapping waves
that wash upon the shore,
memory takes me there
where blue-grey waters
stretch to the horizon
and I am at peace.

TREE WHISPER
The shush, shush, shush
sighing through the trees
sing songs heard
deep in my soul,
quieting my spirit.

UNTOLD
How much do we not remember
of days gone by? Or do we recall
with little veracity at all,
only what puts us in a good light
doing only those things that are oh so right.
On this my 80th year around the sun,
I vow to be joyful and share the fun
of living in thankful anticipation
of every moment of grand elation.

PISMO
Sandy shores and waves
washing upon the beach,
water stealing away our footsteps
as we walk hand-in-hand.
These memories etched
indelibly on my heart.

First photo we were both MUCH younger 😊. The bottom photo was taken several years ago on our last visit to Pismo Beach, CA, a place we loved to go.