Tag: happiness

Have a laugh…

Posted in essay, Inspiration, Life5 Comments

I confess, I outright plagiarized this from another source, but it had been forwarded and reposted so many times, it’s impossible to identify who wrote the original. With gratitude to my friend Sharon Caballero for sending it to me, I pass it along to raise your spirits.

Joy

When this is over –
• Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

• I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I’m cracking a safe.

• I need to practice social distancing from the refrigerator.

• Still haven’t decided where to go for Easter, the Living Room or The Bedroom

• PSA: Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

• Homeschooling is going well. Two students suspended for fighting and one teacher fired for drinking on the job.

• I don’t think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks, we’d go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone

• This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog; we laughed a lot.

• So, after this quarantine, will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them?

• Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.

• My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.

• Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.

• I’m so excited; it’s time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?

• I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I’m getting tired of Los Livingroom.

• Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.

• Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said “I hope I don’t have the same teacher next year.” I’m offended.

Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under

Follow Sharon at:
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THINK POSITIVE – BE POSITIVE

Posted in essay, Health, Life

Calendar

January 1, guilts many of us into making resolutions. I’m not much into assigning myself tasks I’m unlikely to fulfill, but it’s become part of our national tradition to think about all the things that are wrong with us and then figure out ways to fix those flaws in the next 12 months.

This is the way I see it, five ways times two, to a better you.

Five reasons not to feel guilty your resolutions have crashed and burned

Even if you don’t keep your resolutions, you benefit from having made them. Resolutions are practical decisions intended to make you a better you, which takes a positive mindset. Studies show that a positive attitude improves your outlook and your disposition, which does indeed, make you a better you.

It’s probably something that made you feel bad about yourself anyway. Resolutions to quit this bad habit or that bad habit throw you into a negative mode from the get-go. The day to start a healthier lifestyle isn’t Jan. 1; it’s any day you are empowered to make positive changes.

You’re not alone. A 2019 U.S. News & World Report report indicated an 80 percent failure rate among those who made resolutions, with most respondents losing their resolve by mid-February, if not sooner. The trick, if you must make a resolution, is to keep it simple, doable and with a short shelf life. “I’m going to clean my dresser, one drawer at a time, over six days,” (six drawers, six days; get it?) is more doable than, “I’m going to walk five miles every day.” I’m exhausted just thinking about it.

Making a resolution gives you something to think about. So, you didn’t make or keep a resolution. So what? It made you think about changes you can make at any time to improve your health or some other aspect of your life. That is something to feel good about.

If you don’t make a resolution, you don’t have to feel bad when you don’t keep it. Guilt is a terrible motivator. It makes you cranky and resentful and dribbles salt into your wounded ego when you don’t achieve the often impossible goals you set.

Tackle self-improvement in a more holistic and creative way that avoids negativity and makes life better for you and those around you.

Five healthy habits to make your life better without the messy guilt of not keeping a resolution

If you smoke, quit. There has never been a scientific study that says smoking is in any way good for you. As a former smoker I can say categorically it is the worst thing you can do to your body. And vaping? Good grief. It is not a safe substitute.

Walk regularly, no excuses. Walking is good cardio, gets you out in the sunlight, creates opportunities for you to interact with other people, limbers you up, improves mood, boosts your energy, burns calories and contributes to creativity.

Call a friend and just chat. Friends are the family we create for ourselves. Good friends help bolster your sense of purpose and lift you up when you’re down. They listen without judgment and help you keep life in perspective. They are a shoulder to cry on and the ones who get it when you’re laughing about something that makes no sense to anyone but the two of you. These are inexplicable relationships you can’t do without.

Laugh every chance you get. Laughter truly is the best medicine. Align yourself with people who know what it means to bust loose with a guffaw, a giggle, a snort. People who laugh with babies and those who wipe tears from their eyes from laughing so hard at a well-told tale are among my favorite people. Know and respect the difference between laughing with others, not at them.

Become involved in a project or organization. Studies have shown that people who have a purpose are the happiest and most fulfilled. Every organization needs participants, members and volunteers. Lend your skills to a worthwhile cause and reap the benefits of better health and building relationships.

So, there you have it. Think about what you can do and have done, not necessarily to improve yourself, but to make the world around you a better place. That alone makes you better today than you were yesterday, and there is a ripple affect; it has a lasting impact.

Follow Sharon at:
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10 Ways to make yourself feel better

Posted in Health, Opinion

Is there a magic elixir for happiness? Should we be that thing called “happy” all the time? Is there value in disappointment and trials? Down days are inevitable. Sometimes all you need is a little boost to get you over the hump.

  1. Call a friend and tell them something you admire about them. This isn’t the same as giving someone a compliment when they have accomplished a noteworthy achievement. This is recognizing a trait that helps others or that has had a personal influence in your life. You know your friends well enough that coming up with an admirable trait or activity should be easy. It’s important to call instead of e-mail. One-on-one interaction is how we build relationships.
  2. Smile. Motivational writer and speaker Denis Waitley wrote: “A smile is the light in your window that tells others that there is a caring, sharing person inside.” Your smile makes you feel better and has an equally beneficial impact on those you encounter.
  3. Make peace with yesterday. Are you carrying a grudge? It’s probably the heaviest weight you will ever carry. You may not even know how it began. Someone did this, you did that, they retaliated, you pushed back. Suddenly a long standing friendship (or family relationship) hit the iceberg of anger and broke apart. Even if your offer to make peace is rejected, you will know you made the effort, which will lighten your load.
  4. Hang in there. Success is not measured by how many times you fall down; it is measured by how many time you get up and try again. If you have an achievable goal, go for it with everything you have in you. Be energized by the small successes and treat mistakes as learning experiences. You will feel better about your accomplishments and have a more positive outlook.
  5. Be flexible. When life does not go your way, be open to other options. Not getting the promotion or the perfect job is a bump in the road, not a barrier. Too often we believe, “My way or the highway,” shows strength or power. It creates roadblocks to communication and personal growth.
  6. Maintain perspective. My husband jokingly says the words “always” and “never” should be stricken from the dictionary. When you think of your life in absolutes, you begin to see your problems as overwhelming, insurmountable. Take life in small increments and check off the solvable objectives one box at a time. You will feel better with each accomplished goal.
  7. Guard your thoughts. Proverbs 23:7 reads, “… for as he thinketh in his heart, so is he. ‘Eat and drink,’ saith he to thee, but his heart is not with thee.” (KJV) When you are helping, reaching out, lifting up, do so with the right mental attitude and with a generous spirit. A gift given begrudgingly is no gift at all.
  8. Avoid comparing yourself to others. Yes, you are unique. Don’t argue with me. You are you, created in a mold solely your own. You have been given a wealth of gifts and talents. How – or if – you use those gifts and talents is up to you. While it is true that the beautiful people seem to have ideal lives, they’re just like the rest of us, as full of insecurities as you or I. And think about it, some of the most famous actors were anything but beautiful; they were talented men and women who capitalized on their talent and opportunities. You can do it, too.
  9. Disappointment is part of life; get over it. Pain and disappointment are inevitable. It happens to all of us. If there is a lesson to be learned, it is that life is not fair. Living under the rationale that what happens to you is unfair will bring you down and create a defeatist attitude. “This, too, will pass,” may be a cliché, but it is a valid, positive way to handle disappointment. Tomorrow is another day. How can you make it a great day?
  10. Trust yourself. Self-doubt opens the door to defeatism. If you think you can’t, you won’t even try. If you think you can, you will make the most of every day and use the gifts and talents you’ve been given in the best way you know how.

Being happy is not a single thing, or getting what you want; it comes from contentment, loving others and being loved, helping those around you and making a difference in the ways you can. Believe in yourself. Live your faith. Make the most of who you are. You will feel better.

NOTE: Clinical depression is a serious illness. It is nothing to be ashamed of. Sometimes you can’t make yourself feel better. Seek help. See your regular doctor and ask for a referral to a psychologist or other mental health professional. See the signs of clinical depression here.

I am an indie author of six books and two chap books of poetry. Check the BOOKS tab to find out more. Follow me at www.vandermeerbooks.com, https://www.facebook.com/vandermeerbooks, Amazon Author Central

 

Writing lessons and life lessons

Posted in Inspiration, Writer's Block

Writing

Over the past several years I’ve had the opportunity to talk to writers of varying levels of success. These wonderful interactions have taught me a lot about what it means to be a writer and how each applies to having a happy life.

Write tight. Whether you are writing an advertisement or penning the Great American Novel, less is more. Good writing is often a matter of making the most of a few well-chosen words.

Life Lesson: The same is true in every day encounters. More time spent listening and less time talking can bring unexpected rewards, and will likely result in stronger relationships. 

Do your homework. (Research). Writers have an obligation to their readers to be credible. Works of fiction with shaky plots and weak characters turn readers off. Non-fiction books with incorrect information turn readers off. Period, end of story. 

Life Lesson: In presenting your thoughts and ideas verbally, whether one-on-one, in small groups or before an audience of thousands, be trust-worthy. Nothing taints character and integrity like misinformation or an out-and-out lie. 

Write. To be successful, writers must write. It sounds simple, but making time to write is difficult if you are not intentional about putting words on paper (or computer), which is why most authors have a schedule and stick with it come what may.

Life Lesson: To be successful at anything, perseverance is required. “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” (Hebrews 12:1 NIV) Stick with it, whatever “it” is for you, and you are more likely to achieve your goals. 

Be interesting. Create a compelling story with strong characters, drama, conflict, action and a satisfying conclusion. 

Life Lesson: In life the interesting people are more engaged, motivated, happier and less stressed. 

Be creative. There are many ways to write about the same subject. Love. Hate. Death. Life. Fear. Happiness. Truth. Lies. You name it and it has been written about, and that will continue. How does your creativity and innovation bring new life to these concepts? That’s the story you want to tell. 

Life Lesson: How will your personal story take shape as you live each day? Find ways to be creative, even if it’s as simple as drinking your orange juice out of a wine glass. No matter what you do, you can bring elements of creativity to the way you live.

Happiness is…

Think about it. You get to fill in that blank any way you want to. It’s your story. It’s your life. Be happy.

________________________

Vander Meer Books available at Amazon.

 

I am old, but that’s okay

Posted in Inspiration, Views, Writer's Block4 Comments

Amaryllis in Bloom

Every once in a while I catch my reflection in a store window and am puzzled by the stranger looking back at me. Yes, I do look at my reflection every day when I’m putting on makeup, but that’s different, that’s a feature by feature application that doesn’t require looking at the whole picture, the big picture you might say.

It’s those unexpected sightings of myself when I stop and think, “Who is that old woman?” And then the rude awakening, “Oh, right, that’s me, the girl who used to weigh 97 pounds soaking wet (yeah, that’s been a while ago), and the one with – at varying times – dish-water blonde hair, black hair, blonde hair, red hair, and now nearly entirely white hair.

Being old doesn’t bother me, maySharon Vander Meerbe because I’m blessed with good health and don’t have to deal with the issues of a failing body and wandering mind, at least not right now. I’m happy to get up in the morning and look out into the patio to find an amaryllis in full bloom that’s been around for at least 50 years, its blossoms as brilliant and showy as if sprung new from the ground for the first time. It blooms twice a year without fail, with two to three spikes bearing three or four brilliant blossoms. Oh, that as I age I continue to blossom in my own way. I hope by the end of every day I have done something that made someone smile or laugh or think.

And then there are my friends. I don’t have many, by the way, only a few. Yes, I know many people, and I treasure those relationships, but a friend is someone who will listen to you blather on and pretend what you say matters. A friend is someone who will ask you the right questions without trying to give you her version of the right answers. A friend is someone who has known you for a long time and still likes you. A friend is someone who doesn’t judge you or the choices you make. A friend is someone who knows you want an honest answer to the question, “Do these pants make me look fat?” So, yeah, the only way you have old friends is if you are getting old too.

Life in general is as happy as we each want it to be. Make a conscious choice every day to be happy. If life has taught me anything it is to be forgiving, not only of others, but of oneself as well. Carrying around the baggage of discontent can plumb wear a person out. Taking on the stress dealt out by life is a time and energy waster. Guilting over past mistakes is to allow other people or circumstances to control your life, and why would you want to do that? Try to right the wrongs you can, and trust in the Lord for the rest. I learned the hard way that I can’t make other people happy no matter how hard I try, but I can make me happy, and by doing so hopefully have a positive impact. Life Lesson 101 – Count your blessings, they far outnumber your disappointments.

So, yes, I’m old, but that’s okay. I do count my blessings, and being able to write these words and share them is one of them. Aging is more than a physical process. It is to a degree mental. I agree with columnist Doug Larson who wrote, “The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.” I can’t wait for the next snowfall. I’m ready to make my pitch.

Rejoice and Be Glad

Posted in essay, Inspiration, Life2 Comments

SunriseThis is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. ~ Psalm 118:24 (NIV)

Glory hallelujah! We have every reason to rejoice and be joyful. When we enter each new day with an attitude of optimism life is sweeter. In Anne Lamott’s book, “Help, Thanks, Wow, The Three Essential Prayers,” she encourages the simple approach to prayer. It doesn’t take a deluge of words to get your message across to the one and only present and loving God. Ask for help when you need it, give thanks all the time and don’t forget to acknowledge the “wow” moments with awe and praise.

Sunrise is a wow moment. Rejoicing in the gift of life is a wow moment. The birth of a child, the touch of a mother, the strength of a father, these are all wow! moments. Life is full of wow moments. The heart-stopping, heartbreaking moments come as well, but not in the abundant way the wow moments come. When they do come, we can still rejoice in the Lord for he is standing with us. “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4. NIV

Rejoice. What an awesome word. It means to be happy and to make someone else happy. You can’t beat that as a way of life.

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Follow Sharon at:
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